growing up
So here I go, encroaching on my life a year older...
it's interesting to realize that I've learned new things about people. The innate desire in me to just be naively trusting and giving to people has been squashed a lot lately and I'm trying to figure out how to settle into some kind of balance.
As I look at what I've done in my five years here creating and being the executive director of kulaNU I'm astonished actually at how much I accomplished. I don't really think that anyone else can appreciate all I've done here and I know that between me the the Powers That Be, that the honest truth is amazing. For the rest of the world, I rarely tout what I've done or how I've managed it. I prefer instead to let things sit quietly and simply be as they are. So asking me how good I am, is a weird question. I'm by nature inclined to say okay. I know though internally that no average person could have done what I did with this community and with this group. I know that my innate understanding of what it takes to build a community and to do fundraising is special. It's all the stuff I know about people and sensitivities to what people think that makes my efforts work where others were unable to succeed.
Anyway, I spend a lot of time these days wondering just how much of oneself one should share with other people and how one decides what one does and how one does it. I used to have an email list that I wrote to, because I trusted thepeople on the email list to love me and I felt that they could hear what I wrote and do their own thing. It was hard to find that people didn't treat what I wrote with the sort of respect that I'd hoped they would. Of course, one cannot blanket condemn them. Only a handful treated my discourse carelessly. I stopped writing to that list of people, though a part of me wants to very much, because I like people to know how I am and to know that I think of them and want them to stay in touch with me. I just am not exactly sure how to do this though in a way that allows me to feel comfortable and that accounts for various people's personalities...
any thoughts?
it's interesting to realize that I've learned new things about people. The innate desire in me to just be naively trusting and giving to people has been squashed a lot lately and I'm trying to figure out how to settle into some kind of balance.
As I look at what I've done in my five years here creating and being the executive director of kulaNU I'm astonished actually at how much I accomplished. I don't really think that anyone else can appreciate all I've done here and I know that between me the the Powers That Be, that the honest truth is amazing. For the rest of the world, I rarely tout what I've done or how I've managed it. I prefer instead to let things sit quietly and simply be as they are. So asking me how good I am, is a weird question. I'm by nature inclined to say okay. I know though internally that no average person could have done what I did with this community and with this group. I know that my innate understanding of what it takes to build a community and to do fundraising is special. It's all the stuff I know about people and sensitivities to what people think that makes my efforts work where others were unable to succeed.
Anyway, I spend a lot of time these days wondering just how much of oneself one should share with other people and how one decides what one does and how one does it. I used to have an email list that I wrote to, because I trusted thepeople on the email list to love me and I felt that they could hear what I wrote and do their own thing. It was hard to find that people didn't treat what I wrote with the sort of respect that I'd hoped they would. Of course, one cannot blanket condemn them. Only a handful treated my discourse carelessly. I stopped writing to that list of people, though a part of me wants to very much, because I like people to know how I am and to know that I think of them and want them to stay in touch with me. I just am not exactly sure how to do this though in a way that allows me to feel comfortable and that accounts for various people's personalities...
any thoughts?
posted by Meowmix Chatul at jeudi, mars 31, 2005
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