revised form of the first poem

jump just jump, just, JUMP!
down, accelerating as gravity’s rules decree,
what ridiculousness my life has been
knowing nothing of meaning and rhyme, because
who am I or what am I to anyone?

Go, ending the loneliness and the bitter, in sorrow.

Standing here and watching now
as they crowd around. Flashing lights,
Bright dark Bright dark Bright dark
As the tide ebbs, I wonder if anyone will miss me.

mechanical pumping of air and vitals,
I want to live, but
desperately to end the shards of loneliness.

The intensity of my mind's isolation is
an abyss of agony between me and the world's blasé harmony.